Hi Simon, I am writing you because talking on the phone doesn't seem to be working out for some reason. That stuff was something else, I was pretty much out of my body the entire trip, I relieved my prior Iboga experience in San Pancho Mexico, where I thought I was for a majority of the trip. I saw that as a young kid I have always been very honest and truthful which hurt me a lot because many people took advantage of this. This created a lot of pain, fear and confusion about myself that I almost worked through during highshool but then I dropped out and things went down hill from there. during this time I broke my clavicle 3 times in a month which left me with a few scripts of vicodin. Life began feeling like a burden instead of excitement and joy until I was basically totally relying on drugs for any sort of fun.
I was really bad with cocaine for a while there too, it lost it's buzz tho so I tried shooting it which got me completely addicted to the needle, shooting MSconton, Oxyconton, fentanyl, and eventually heroin and cocaine as speedball. I thought a lot about what I was doing to my body and my future but I was trapped in addiction and a sad mindset about my life. Luckily I also got into psychedelics, mushrooms were always super confusing for me but LSD showed me the truth many times in an amazing way. I tried DMT, LSA, and Salvia D. as well which helped me on the right path.
During the Iboga trip I saw myself in a room with two grandmothers who were knitting. Their nits were these mountains, and they were connected. They were sitting across from each other and one of the nits was a mirror image of the other. I kept appearing in this room watching them nit and disappearing on a journey through the mountains (that they were knitting) and back again. I revisited a fishing village in Bara De Navi Dad, Mexico where my family and I lived when I was 3.
I spent a lot of time in the rain forest in San Pancho and Bara. I remember seeing an image of tree frogs and tadpoles sliding down pink, orange, purple, blue in moonlight, it was like a little scene in the middle of the rainforest. I also saw that the rainforest totally covered the earth n the past or I think it was future actually.
I also distinctly remember hearing this hummer with a low muffler driving around in the rain forest part of a Mexican cartel basically completely running San Pancho, loaded with guns and drugs,. I kept hearing it drive somewhere then hearing a winch ratchet as it loaded up, then it would drive off, unload, load up, all night long, 24/7. I also saw and went into heroin/cocaine dens in the middle of the jungle, I found myself eventually working for these guys...there was so much and is a lot more a lot of it is extremely hard to put into words.
I went to Costa Rica as well and relieved more experiences in the jungle. I also visited Venice Italy and saw that I was madly in love with the place.
One of the most amazing memories I have is being on the beach in San Pancho and seeing this lady and her daughter that we met down there last time we were there. When her daughter saw me she gave me a hug and said that she saw that I had definitely made it, in that moment I felt completely free of all the crappy feelings.
I also revisited some old towns that I guess I had lived in in a past life or maybe it was purely spiritual, hard to say, but I saw a run down house that I lived in with my girlfriend, we were constantly fucked up, that was life. I was madly in love with the life style too, I can feel the feeling of the place and everything and the shittiness of it was so appealing it's very strange to me now.
I've been smoking a little pot at night to help me sleep but I saw that I have a tendency to get carried away and use marijuana as an escape from reality/boredom too if I'm not careful. I have been very occupied playing drugs, guitar, tying fly's, writing, drawing, resting. I am really looking forwards to working and saving money for once in my life and spending it on the tings that are real. I have been sleeping more and more every night, slept the most tonight (6hrs) I have very little craving and I actually found some paraphernalia that was hidden in yy room, that was a paper with a tiny dot of heroin on it, it felt very dirty and unappealing. The thought of trapping myself up like that again is a nightmare. Another part of the trip
I saw myself having quit but still carrying lots of burden in the form of chains, I was a slave still and I had to drag my chains around everywhere and that was my future if I didn't really stop this time round. I saw I had one other chance after this but I would have to deal with the burden still. I really had to be ready to quit, I think my prior iboga experience didn't have much effect on me because it wasn't as good as quality, and I didn't do enough/wasn't ready to quit. I was damn ready this time though!
I can't thank you enough, you helped me get my life back, my parents and brother/family back, and vice versa. I couldn't be happier!
Much love,
Javier
Posts
